Humor with stammering

Hello to all my stutter friends. Perhaps I am writing a post here after a little long time. I really enjoyed my first national conference which I attended with my friends. It was never forgettable experience for me. I enjoyed every moment which I spend there. Now stammering doesn’t seem like a problem for me because I have so many friends like me and now I know which path has to follow. Each and every person there was unique and gave us a strong message that how we can live happily, even with obstacles in our life. Thanks to all my cool friends and guru’s by help of them now I feel so much lighter, open and better.  Today I want to share a little humor with you people which happened with me last week.

     I was coming back to my hostel with my friends. On the way I had to say something to them. I was unable to utter one particular word. Every time I tried to speak the word; only aaaaaaae… sound comes. I tried few times more but only aaaaaaae sound comes in a stretch manner And Every time I tried to speak , my friends became quite to listen me, and Then I say only aaaaaaa…After couple of more attempts I was able to spoke out that word. It was “ATM” And then we all had a great laugh. I joked them that I can't speak simple words sometimes because I love to face difficult one. Then I spoke this word again few times in a fluent and relax manner and gave them proof that “Dekha, mai isse aasani se bol skata hu, wo tho mje tumhe hasana tha isliye. ", And again we had a big laugh together. If I would have to face similar type of situation few times ago (before joining TISA) then it would be a quite painful and shameful for me. But now I can laugh on my stammering and also can laugh others.  What is benefit of weeping or leaving the work if someone laughs? Is it bad to laugh?? NO. It is only bad when others are laughing and we are damn serious. Join others to enjoy a great laugh. It is also a part of acceptance if you love the way you speak.

4 comments:

Namrata said...

u r example of these people who never face difficulties...

January 21, 2012 4:20 AM

sachin said...

Wow- Beautiful! Best line: If people laugh - laugh with them! And life will become a lot easier..
Umesh, you are our Brand Ambassador!

January 21, 2012 6:47 AM

Mohit kumar said...

Hahaha Very good say Umesh. Thats why i like you. You have the spirit that we all want in our life. Every time i met you, i realize some energies are there around me. You have strong power inside..and as Sachin sir said you definitely deserve a "Brand Ambassador" label...

January 21, 2012 9:25 AM

lalit said...

umesh bahi shai hai..haklane ke asli maje to tum hi le rahe ho....keep laughing

January 27, 2012 2:53 AM

Life of a cover Stutter

My name is uuu Umesh Rawat and I am a covert stammerer. A covert stammer is who can hide his stammer very well by easy replacing words and by with some other techniques(coughing, i just forgot hmmm..) . But at sometime, all of his techniques failed and he caught red handed. And this is most embarrassing movement for him. Since childhood, I also hide my stammering from everyone as possible I can do. Even my family members don’t know about this (as I think, except my mom). But sometime when I stuck badly in some situations, I found myself helpless. I shocked badly like as by electric current and my memory erased. I don’t realize where I am standing and on what content I was talking? This was my previous life around one year ago. I seemed happy to people and they thought I am a good listener with shy personality. There was big difference in my inner and outer thoughts. I was completely a different person in my inner. I always fight with my own words. This word is right, this is wrong. There was never a peace inside myself. I always tried not to stutter at any cost. Being "covert" is

• Having excessive fear of being perceived by others to have a difference in the way they speak
• Constantly fearing their "stuttering secret" being uncovered
• Feeling guilty for making the listener feel uncomfortable because of their stuttering
• Denying stuttering or the need to work on it
• Feeling shame, devaluating oneself, or fostering the need to hide stuttering

After attending few TISA workshops, I feel deep changes in my inner and few in outer. 

•  Now I can talk on stammering to anyone  freely. I enjoy talking on stammering although fluents doesn’t want to talk more on it. 
• I dosn’t feel so much fear or shame after blockages (although there is more work to do).
• I reduced switching words in fearing situations. 
• And most important which I got, the inner struggle with words goes down and a peace in inside.                                     

                        Although many friends of mine tell me that you start to stammer more after attending workshop. How I tell them that my inner struggle goes down which reflects in my outer. Sometime I stutter more and what others can do in it?? I have born to stutter; sometimes I win, sometimes my stutter. Just a matter of time.

5 comments:

sachin said...

Beautiful and very true. Becoming free of constant fear is the goal, even if we stammer a little.. People often think that covert stutterers dont suffer as much as over stutterers.. but this is not true.

November 1, 2011 12:18 AM

J P Sunda said...

Yes Umesh, sometimes such negative feedback can make us GO BACK to trying to hide our stammer! but its good that you can see that an increase in your stammering is also a sign of progress.

November 1, 2011 4:40 AM

sachin said...

Yes, the GREAT DESIRE to be accepted by the "Normal" world is our BIGGEST abnormality! If we could just accept ourself as we are, we will be the happiest person- no struggles, no regrets, - everything will be "normal" then..

November 1, 2011 7:12 PM

deepak said...

Last lines are touchy and very true. "I have born to stutter; sometimes I win, sometimes my stutter. Just a matter of time."

November 3, 2011 12:08 PM

kumar kundan said...

The change that u brought about HIDING to OPENING MOUTH is worth praising.... I agree with sachin sir;moreover what we lack most is to maintain our changed outlook over stammering....we need to be open with more and more peoples!

November 4, 2011 9:58 AM

The Perfect Interview

Hello to all my busy stutter friends  :-). Today I want to share my experience of two days ago. Our college went to a campus placement in Chandigarh. Most of the students of my class did not prefer to go there because it was a tough competition and other colleges were also participating. Perhaps facing interview and many other things there, made students to foot back. I don’t understand this thing, why fluent people feared with these things (I think if I was fluent then I would never missed these opportunities :-). But I accepted this challenge; I think why I am letting myself back due to my stammering. I will perform good or bad but at-least I will get a chance to face fear and challenge. I went there with my few friends; with a mind that I am not going to get a job but for enjoying the interview and enjoying the challenge. Around 1400 students there and I were in those lucky 600 who cleared the written test. I was not so much happy and surprise because it was not a challenge that I was waiting for. Technical interview started of all students one by one. Sometimes I feared by thinking that it may be horrible; but every-time when this thought came to my mind, I overlap this thought by this- ”I am not here to get the job, I come here to just enjoy the feared things”. This thought relaxed me a lot and all my fear started to melt.

                     After a long wait that waiting moment came, I took the seat in front of a young HR. First question- “Umesh, Tell me something about yourself”. I started to tell after a deep breath while he was gazing at my resume. But after two sentences my speech started to breaking out. I thought this is not a time to hide my stammer, I asked him “Sir, I have problem of stammering and I will took some more time to complete my words if you don’t mind”.  He smiled and said ”Ok Ok, It’s not a big issue. Take your time and speak as you relax”. I never expect such words from an interviewer. I smiled and started to speak my own words with less fear. Then after listening few answers from me; he asked- “Do you know? Einstein also had this problem” I immediately replied-“Yes sir, also Newton and Hrithik Roshan have this problem”.  “Tum tho sab jaante ho, fir kaya problem hai. Do you do something to work on your speech?” He asked again. I said “Yes, I am a member of TISA and we arranged self help meetings in Delhi. It really helps us to come out”. After few minutes of this conversation I stuck to a severe block when he asked to name my favorite subject. I tried but failed to say it, even with my technique like bouncing. I said “Sir, I can’t able to speak this name even with my techniques”. He politely said that ok; you can speak any synonym of it. Then I speak it with a starter (prefix word) and took a breath of relax. 

        Overall interview was good and he looked satisfied. Last question he asked that you had written in your resume; stammering in your strength points, why? I said that there was a time when I thought stammering is worst thing to me; but after joining TISA it is no more. I got so such nice friends because of it, I got a habit of speaking truth because of it, and many other things which would took a long time to describe here.That's why now I consider it as my strength not weakness. When interview finished, I went back to my seat with immense pleasure in my heart. I thought that now if I not selected then atleast I will not regret on myself that my stammering pushed me back. I have no right to say it now because I got fully time to speak and well understood. If I will not selected, it will only lack of my knowledge not my stammering.

What experience I got by this interview which I gave for enjoyment.

  

  1.What we think in our mind is not always right. 

  2.We thought people will consider us in a negative way because of our ugly weakness but good and mature people never do it. 

  3.Good people are always supportive and feel our emotions. 

  4.We never let us down or back foot in any work due to our weakness. 

  5.We can face some challenges just for shake of enjoyment. 

  6.We can’t blame to society without involving in it. 

  7.Why we hide our self to external world? We can show what we are in real and it gives real happiness. 

  8.Sometimes weakness becomes strength if you implement it by right attitude.( Better to say this if I will get selected :-))

16 comments:

sachin said...

"I got a habit of speaking truth because of it" Umesh, this is the line, I will take with me to Andamans, if I were exiled there for the rest of my life without books.. Speaking truth is the best tapasya in this age. And, we the pws, get this opportunity (if we choose to) in our own small ways every day, because we stammer. So, even stammering is an opportunity for our SPIRITUAL evolution.. I totally agree with your interpretation of the whole experience.. Dont worry about selection. Just accept whatever happens. You have already reaped the biggest benefit of the moment..

November 6, 2011 6:08 PM

KaUsTaV... said...

Great going dude!!!! Best of luck !!!!

November 6, 2011 6:26 PM

KaUsTaV... said...

Grt going dude !!!! Best of luck !!!!

November 6, 2011 6:27 PM

sikander said...

Great job Umesh, Really Hats off to you. Really very much inspired by you. You took the challenge and faced the fear of interview. Does not matter whether you get a job or not. the main thing you went there and had a good conversation with them. The best thing, you come out of your shell and took the initiative. There is a good proverd, practice makes a man perfect. Do not worry about not being able to speak there. Your acheivement is that you went there and shared about your stammering with them. Now you must be feeling a stammering is not a big issue. All the best dear. We are very pround of you. Sikander With good wishes Sikander

November 6, 2011 10:01 PM

amit dixit said...

gud Umesh ji......thanks for this postzest

November 7, 2011 3:49 AM

PP...Pramendra said...

Waah Umesh truly speaking, I don't have words to praise your guts. What an awesome post! You have inspired me and a lot of other PWS like me to face challenges head on. Thanks a lot!!

November 7, 2011 9:20 AM

Elanthamizhan said...

Superb man... me too did the same thing during my interview but i didn't mentioned my stammering...Just to face the fear of interview..but adding Stammering as your strength in resume really awesome dude... congrats:)))

November 7, 2011 11:28 PM

Shorn Jacob said...

We wont regret about interviews where we are open about our stammer. I had once read about a man from TISA who finally got his job after 50 interviews . Think of the experience he will be having? "Take a cup of concrete and harden the f**k up" Shorn

November 7, 2011 11:37 PM

Nitin Tomer said...

Umesh, Buddy you make me proud :-) I had never thought of stammering as a strength till now, but you forced me to think it that way. I owe you one :-) Cheers Nitin

November 8, 2011 1:15 AM

J P Sunda said...

Umesh paaji Kirtiman pe kirtiman banate ja rahe ho aap. Thanks for sharinf these wonderful insights and a different perspective of looking at things

November 8, 2011 1:55 AM

Ashish Agarwal said...

Life is for - GO ON....... so keep tiking with life & enjoy all the experiences.. Thank you for posting , Umesh.

November 8, 2011 6:58 AM

Er. Umesh 9068322345 said...

Thanks to all my lovely friends and guru's! All I have done because of only your support and guidance. Thanks again for your encouraging comments and love!

November 8, 2011 7:59 AM

VIBHU said...

I am taking these lines of yours for my interview too. Thanks a lot Umesh, yours is a truly inspiring story.

November 9, 2011 3:42 AM

Pinakin said...

Wah Umesh great. By putting stammering as a strength and the courage you have shown to speak openly about stutter really inspired us a lot.

November 9, 2011 8:19 AM

pb said...

Umesh well done man ! Try to absorb the maximum positives from the incident to reap the best benfits of the act you performed . and to tell you something which probably doesnt need to be mentioned : "Keep standing out buddy . Maybe you can end up starting a company yourself.

November 12, 2011 2:55 AM

abhishek said...

welldone umesh your post give us great motivation...for us to face interview.......all the best..

November 14, 2011 10:06 PM

A new oppurtunity wanna catch it

Dear all pws,
As all we know that TISA is like a name of god for the people like me(means those who stammer).I am an adult pws who is college going. After semester exams, it is about one and half months free time for me . I can do many other works in this free time but I don’t think that no work has higher priority for me rather than to work on my speech. yes ,I am stammer and I want to come out from it, have to catch all the opportunity I got. I asked sachin sir to make a workshop for us as we are about 4-5 students. Sachin sir agreed to do so. He told us that there will be more fun and joy in the workshop if there are some more members. It will be nice if you come with at-least 8 or 9 people to join a mini workshop here in herburtpur. I talked some other pws but some how I ready to manage only 2 more guys who doing jobs. So we are 6 members who are ready till date (umesh, abhishek, ashish, dhurva, rakesh, sandeep rajoria). But we needed more. So I put this here on blog that anyone who is free and wanna come with us so that we have great fun. You can do it. If you do it. I will certainly not lag behind. It will be three day workshop and everything like will be chandigarah workshop. Possible dates will be at the end of July weekend. So you have two weeks to manage other things.Anyone who is interested can call me at 08529982551, 09813973747. Or can mail to me at umeshrawat1987@gmail.com . for further details you can also contact to sachin sir satsri@gmail.com

8 comments:

abhishek said...

that's a great job and great oppurinity to work on my speech so i m instrated. thanks umesh and sachin sir to provide a comfort jone......

July 14, 2011 3:22 AM

addy2001 said...

hi umesh can you tell me the exact date about when its going to start i am also intrested to join it

July 14, 2011 5:03 AM

sachin said...

It is 29,30,31st July (Fri-sat-sun)

July 14, 2011 5:14 AM

Er. Umesh said...

yes..addy. it good to see that we find another member. i am so happy :)

July 14, 2011 6:05 AM

Rajesh said...

I will try my best to attend it..moreover,i'm frm dehradun ..so ,the venue is closer 4 me...

July 14, 2011 7:30 AM

Rajesh said...

I will try my best to attend it..moreover,i'm frm dehradun ..so ,the venue is closer 4 me...

July 14, 2011 7:30 AM

sachin said...

Great, Rajesh, you must do it this time. Get in touch with Umesh regarding formalities.. sachin

July 14, 2011 8:53 AM

kishore said...

This is great Umesh. I will come after 15th August Anybody planing to come during this time is most welcome.

July 15, 2011 1:20 AM

3rd day at Herburtpur workshop

Today blogger was not available throughout the day. i tried a lot to put my blog here but nothing work so i m posting so late it.

3rd day in herburtpur workshop:-
on third day, i was not so much happy because my two colleagues had left me alone . but i never thought that this day will become most memorable day of my life. i m proud of mine because my stammering provide me such opportunity to meet such nice people which i never met in life. Sachin sir do it again. he gave us t-shirt on which it is a slogan written that "haklaao magar pyar se". we all wear it and the thing which impress me is that i am a stammer and i still hesitate to wear it and sachin sir who is not a stammer anymore wear it first than us. then we took some photographs and talk to our friends on phone in presence of sachin sir. ok then we thank to the support staff of anugrah building . after it we go to the smagra where we have to meet with Canadian student and act as stammering expert there. first we watched some stammering videos with them. and after this they interviewed us, ask us many questions like when it started to u? how your life affected by it ? how you feel when people laugh at you? how your study and other aspect of life changed due to it? at that time , i answered all the questions very gently because at that time i was stuttering expert. i don't feel any pressure and feel very pleasure after doing this. after this they people gave us their views about how they understand our problem and how they educate the society about this. we all feel that we are very lucky ones because even fluent person sometimes not get such opportunities. we are proud of ourselves. one of my pws friend rakesh said that now i understand that we are not the unfortunate ones. we have missed many golden period in our past life. but this stammering also provide us many other things in life which a non-stutter never get. i agreed to this fact. there we also give small presentation. and in the returning way, we are so happy that we all sing song together. really nice feelings. thank you dr. sachin for doing so much efforts for us. and one nice thing i learned is that. my name is umesh rawat and i am a stutter :)

5 comments:

WindStorm said...

Well done Mr.Umesh And welcome to the TISA blog and keep writing your experiences so that other PWS get to learn from you and can also help you if you ever need help. Good luck. Regards.

May 13, 2011 10:59 AM

sachin said...

Thanks Umesh. Such feedback will be very helpful for me to become a better facilitator (and individual too!). Looking forward to Day 4!

May 13, 2011 8:21 PM

sachin said...

Umesh- here is a blog just for you- you will find a great resonance with it.. http://stevenonstuttering.blogspot.com/

May 13, 2011 8:38 PM

Umesh said...

thanks to all of you to encourage me for writing more blogs.

May 14, 2011 2:17 AM

J P Sunda said...

Umesh, u r the first participant to give such a detailed perspective of each day!! Congrats and boy, u have got guts!!

May 14, 2011 4:20 AM

4th day at Herburtpur workshop

hello to all....

4th at herburtpur workshop:-
This is the final day of our workshop because only 4 member are left now. but i really want to attend the workshop for all five days. but i was quite satisfied by my performance on the final day. on this day, we all play role in small drama. Sachin sir gave us a 2 page script . After reading it we have to memorize our dialogues and play our role. It seems to be easy but it is really very hard. Because in a play, there is always a pressure of delivering good dialogue and emotions. sometime it is hard to remember that what we have to speak and when. but after taking 2 or more takes we delivered it very well. the audience claps for us. really nice feeling because we people always fear from these type of stage activities since from our childhood. the best thing of Sachin sir today is that he provide us a situation to talk with the females. it is very nice to tell them that we are stutter and they are more soft than men on this topic.
After this, we have to prepare ourselves for an mock interview. we provide a short resume to sachin sir and he gave this to the faculty of interviewer panel. at this time , i was quite open about my stammering and does't feel any fear about facing the interview. and when i go to the interview panal and i found that i am so much normal and giving answers so much soflty, slowly and without blockage by using simply bouncing. Interviewers was quite impressive with me. At last,i ask them their feedback. they said" you are quite clear in your thoughts, you have good leadership qualities but one thing of your is not good to listen. i ask what. they told me that when someone ask you that what is your weakness then never say them that your stammering is your weakness like today you said. instead of it ,you can say that my stammering is my best strength. these lines quite impress me and i am very thankful to this supporting staff that remind me such important thing in my life that i almost have forgotten. stammering is not a weakness of ourselves, it is our strength if we take it in a positive manner.
At last we make a some chat with sachin sir and ask our personal questions. In the evening , we step out for our destination. but this time we were not alone. we had packed with good memories and nice friends .we promised each other to be in touch.
Thanks to all friends and dr. sachin who show us a light to come out from a dark cave.
now we became a member of large tisa family. we all hope that we attend at least one another full workshop in presence of sachin sir. th th thank you and b b bbye.
my name is umesh rawat and i am a person who stutter.

2 comments:

sachin said...

Dear Umesh, thanks again for your valuable feedback. Now, do one thing- go back and read your first post and then this last one. And notice the difference. In my estimate- in just 3/4 days, your writing style has undergone a clear change. You are thinking clearly and writing it down with clarity. And if you persist in writing, your thinking and talking- both will improve dramatically. THIS is the reason, I encourage IPWS to write!

May 14, 2011 5:28 AM

J P Sunda said...

Along with the change in your writing skill, I can c a big change in ur attitude towards u and ur stammer!! Keep marching forward...We may be having a workshop in chandigarh soon. I would be so happy, if u can join us!

May 14, 2011 9:13 AM